Wasted Time?

Although I read others' blogs almost every day, I realize that I haven't posted anything on my own blog in almost a month. I could try to concoct some sort of metaphor to explain the significance that absence has to what has been going on in my own life, or I could be a little more honest and straightforward. I think I'll try the later.

I want to be a better listener. I want to be more comfortable in silence, in uncertainty, in being still. I'm not very good at being still, either physically or mentally, and I'm pretty bad at yoga - although I am getting better the more I practice. I've been caught up in the achievement-minded mania for so long that sometimes I need to be reminded to just slow down, breathe, and be. 

So I am working on not working so hard, on not focusing so much on perfection. I'm focusing on seeing beauty in imperfection and on learning from those who walk simple paths, who practice profound truths, and who give much more than they take. I'm also trying to be more forgiving with myself.

So, I haven't posted in almost a month because I was waiting for something to inspire me to write the perfect post. I've gotten over that idea. Maybe there is no such thing as wasted time.

Contemplation... Also Known As Inaction or Fear

So I was sitting here staring at my computer screen, contemplating my life, thinking about all the things I think I should be doing right now, and perusing blogs of people who are actually out there, in the world... acting on their beliefs, changing their ways, speaking out about things that matter. And here I am, somewhat paralyzed in a state of inaction, or fear, or whatever you want to call it. I think I need to wake up just a little bit. It's nice for me to have ideas and to write about them somewhat fluently in ways that I think won't offend many people, to make "safe" changes like those listed in my last post, and to otherwise go about my days thinking I am making a difference, making a change, when really I am doing little more than stewing about in my own fear. That, I've realized, is something that I need to address immediately. Stay posted. More to follow soon...

Things to Do...

I've always been a fan of "things to do" lists, and although I am trying to break myself of the habit of creating these long lists and then feeling disappointed when I don't get everything done on any given day... I'm not quite ready to let go of the lists just yet. So here's a list of things I am going to do to simplify my life, hopefully within the next year.

1. Finish school 

2. Donate or sell about 50% of my belongings

3. Begin to work the steps of the Your Money or Your Life plan to financial independence

4. Find a way to make money that allows me the time and freedom to pursue my passions and interests

5. Learn how to create and maintain a vegetable garden

6. Learn how to compost

7. Live according to the Compact and not purchase anything new, or at least cut my purchases of new things by 75%

8. Help develop the non-profit organization I am a part of 

More to follow... this is, obviously, only a start. Suggestions?

Hope

Sometimes hope originates from a place of perceived hopelessness and sometimes the most extraordinary outcomes result from the most ordinary of actions. I have to admit that on this personal journey I am traveling towards a life of greater simplicity, there have been many moments when I have been a little less than proud to be an American. I am not proud of our country's greed and consumerism and oppression, but that conversation belongs in a different post on a different day.

Today, I want to focus on the positive. I have to say that I am overwhelmed with a sense of pride, hope, and empowerment that I have not felt in a very long time... if ever. I have always wanted so much to be part of a generation that stands up for things that are positive, humane, and hopeful and I have always believed that change is possible. I have also always believed that my generation - the youth of this country - has not been apathetic so much as it has been waiting for a chance to really be heard. And last night I saw a glimpse of what this kind of voice might mean in my lifetime. To me, that deserves a moment of pause and of reflection.

Some Inspiration from a Greeting Card

1. the path is not straight.

2. mistakes need not be fatal.

3. people are more important than achievements or possessions.

4. be gentle with your parents.

5. never stop doing what you care most about.

6. learn to use a semicolon.

7. you will find love.

                      - marion winik

Today I am meditating on number three. Of course this is something I believe, but I think it is also important to make sure my actions are aligning themselves with my beliefs. This can be challenging sometimes. A little reminder like the card I found on my desk this morning is nice. 

Let Me Show You What It's Like...

Let me show you what it's like

To be caught in the middle of nowhere and forever.

The wounds are real,

Although they are bandaged well.

No one really wants to see the hurt anyway;

No one wants to hear the cries.

We are too caught up in the facade,

The sensationalism,

The saying that it could never happen to us.

Who is this us anyway?

Is it the mother who sends her children to bed hungry each night,

To the sound of the nightly news blaring through the wall

And the smell of marijuana smoke tickling their noses?

There has to be a better way.

Or is this us the CEO with the five BMWs in his large garage -

Things he bought to make up for the emptiness of his house,

His relationship with his children, his wife, his ex-wife, his job that he hates?

Maybe there is such a thing as too much space.

Maybe the us are the ones who sit in the middle,

Saying just enough so that we don't really have to say anything.

No one really wants to see the hurt anyway.

Let me show you what it's like.

We argue over the economy, the war, gas prices.

No one mentions education much these days.

Silent cries of millions of children drowned out by more important things.

No one really wants to see the hurt anyway;

No one wants to hear the cries.

We are too caught up.

This could never happen to us.

These are not our children being misdirected by a lost generation,

Being punished by the greed of cheap solutions,

Being hardened by a lack of care.

Because if these are our children,

Then what does this say about us,

Being caught as we are in the middle of nowhere and forever?

Someone has to see the hurt.

Someone has to hear the cries.

We cannot stay trapped here for long. 

Ah-ha!

I just solved my gift-giving dilemma. Everyone is getting Kiva gift certificates. If you are not familiar with the organization, please check it out at www.kiva.org. What a great way to help make the world a more just and equitable place. Peace.

Inspiration...

Last week I ran my first 15 K race and found myself so inspired by all the athletes, volunteers, and most of all by the beauty of the fall morning. The course was amazing, I felt incredibly strong, and the weather could not have been better. 

And all this sort of got me thinking of all the things that inspire me and that make me grateful... so I thought I'd start a little list, the operative word being "start." I don't think a list like this is something you ever really finish, which is part of the journey that we call life. So, here it goes (in no particular order of importance, or else all the people would be first of course):

1. Desert sunrises

2. South Florida sunsets over the Gulf of Mexico

3. My arms and legs that let me run and cycle and walk and swim and sometimes even rock climb

4. My education and all the ways it has made me see the world through different eyes

5. My brother and his strength, both mentally and physically

6. My dad and his never-ending belief in and support of my dreams

7. My mom, the strongest and most beautiful woman I know

8. My boyfriend's love, support, humor, and intelligence

9. Authors who write about things that matter

10. The fact that storms don't last forever, and the probability that most of them will be followed by the most breathtaking peacefulness

11. My bicycle

12. Changing seasons

13. My house at about 3 p.m. every Thanksgiving

14. My 07-08 girls water polo team 

15. My brother's fiance for loving my brother and wanting to spend her life with him

16. Desert wildflowers

17. Joshua Tree National Park

18. My aunt's screened-in back porch and back yard

19. Molly, the best dog in the world (slightly biased, although most people who meet her and don't have their own dogs already would probably agree)

20. The possibility of peace and the people who believe in it

21. The roof over my head and the ground under my feet

22. Apologies and forgiveness

23. Beautiful artwork, photography, and music

24. Babies

25. Cecile Andrew's book The Circle of Simplicity

26. Yoga

27. My spin class at the gym

28. People who seek new truths and are not afraid to stand up for what they believe in

29. Teenagers who manage to develop and maintain a strong sense of self

30. All my extended family members who inspire me constantly

31. Socks and warm blankets and ear warmers and sweaters (it's cold today)

32. My dissertation chair and committee members who believe in me and my research

33. Teachers who dedicate their lives to our future and strive to create a more just, equitable, and peaceful world

34. Jonathan Kozol

35. Howard Zinn

36. My boyfriend's garden

37. Food on my table at every meal

38. Old photographs

39. Autumn and leaves changing colors

40. New beginnings

41. My friends - I have the best friends in the world

42. Quiet moments of reflection

43. Desert mornings

44. The smell of fresh rain

45. Freshly cut flowers on the dining room table

46. Diversity

47. Freedom, in both the ideal and realistic sense of the word

48. Conversations on a cold day by the fireplace

49. Businesses dedicated to sustainable living and responsible production

50. Smiles on the faces of children

Stay posted... my goal is to get to 100 by Thanksgiving.

 

Defining Voluntary Simpliciy

Although there are many definitions for voluntary simplicity, I really liked this one from www.choosingvoluntarysimplicy.com. 

It reads: Voluntary simplicity is a philosophy. Often called compassionate living, it is a conscious choice to simplify your life and a deliberate downshifting to create the life and home environment that fit you are your family... Voluntary simplicity is not a limiting lifestyle. Actually, choosing to live "consciously and deliberately" will give you freedom... more quality time... more discretionary money... and more appreciation and enjoyment of every aspect of your life.

Beautifully-worded. Simple, yet profound. To me, it is worth it to strive to live a life centered around the ideas and ideals that I can really believe in. It is a journey, and I'm enjoying the ride...

And Yet Another Idea (Or Two) For November

My cousin suggested two more great ideas for Thanksgiving. We are going to volunteer to work at a soup kitchen (I really can't believe that is something I have never done) and also try to infuse some organic foods into our Thanksgiving feast. I say "infuse" because I don't think that this year, with the number of people we feed (60-70) and the amount of coordination that entails, we would be able to go completely organic. But where we can, we are going to try to. I'm beginning to look forward to all of these little, yet important, challenges. 

Holiday Gift Giving

I just saw an ad about K-Mart (or some store like that) going back to lay-away this holiday season. In the commercial, there are a few smiling women standing in line with their carts FULL of what looked to me like a whole lot of junk. It seems that at some point, everyone would just say ENOUGH. Not only does our country have enough stuff, many of us have way, way more than enough stuff. I've decided that for the rest of the year (and maybe for the rest of my life) everyone is either going to get a homemade present or a donation to a charity in their honor or a creative service (i.e. hours of babysitting). And this decision is coming from someone (me) who used to love, love, love to buy presents. However, I just don't think I can justify it any longer. So, that is how I am going to attempt to get through the holiday season. The only place I see myself having a hard time following through with this is with the kids that I usually buy for. We'll see how it goes. 

Other Ideas for November

I've been thinking about other things to do in November that are maybe more authentic to me than the way I've spent my time in the past. I have to admit there were years when I braved the mall on the day after Thanksgiving to get a jump-start on my holiday shopping. Now the thought of even entering a mall, especially on the busiest shopping day of the year, makes me almost sick to my stomach. So, I thought that instead I would try to organize a Really, Really Free Market(RRFM) at a park near my house on the Friday after Thanksgiving. The markets are all over now, but the original one was started by Kirsten Brydum in San Francisco. Kirsten was killed last month and the RRFM in San Francisco is working hard, as are a lot of other organizations, to keep her memory and spirit alive. For more information on the original market, you can visit the website at www.reallyreallyfree.org. The idea is fairly simple. On a particular day, everyone who wants to participate can bring stuff they want to give away to the park (or wherever the event is being held). People are free to take whatever they want/think they need/know they will use. No strings attached. No barter or trade necessary. Free. The only catch is that if you bring stuff and no one takes it, then you have to take it with you. No one can leave trash behind. People also can bring blankets, music, food and hang out/socialize. It's getting people together, outside in a way that stands in direct opposition to the consumerism that drives our culture. So I am going to work on making this happen. I will post updates as the time nears. My other idea was to get together the 60 or 70 people who converge on my family's home for Thanksgiving and do a collective donation to some charity, preferably one that supports and/or benefits a Native American organization in some way. I think that we could collect at least $100 or $200 and it might start a tradition that would continue annually. I need to do some work on this idea too, but I thought about it and decided that if I posted it I would be more likely to hold myself accountable for actually making it happen. 

A Really Good Idea

My friend told me about something she is going to try this holiday season and I thought it was an idea worth sharing. It's about being grateful, and the concept is simple. Every day for a month (or longer) you write a note to someone telling them why you are grateful for him/her. I am going to do this in November and I know my biggest challenge will be actually mailing the notes. I've decided to do the following things to make this easier and more fun. First of all, I am going to address and put postage on a bunch of envelopes in advance so that I don't have to root around for addresses, stamps, etc. I am also going to make a bunch of homemade cards in advance (which is also keeping with The Compact and not buying a bunch of new cards) and also use some cards in the stockpile of store-bought cards I keep around "just in case." I am also going to try to actually get together (for a walk, some coffee) with some of the people who are physically close to me but whom I haven't seen in a long time. What better reason to get together than to let someone know how much he/she means to me? 

Pondering Peace

I believe in the possibility of peace. That being said, I wonder how we can have peace in a world with so much inequity, so much greed, so much economic disparity, so much hopelessness. More thoughts on this to come... 

Things I Have Purchased New...

I figured it was time to confess. These are the things I have purchased new since September 1st, complete with my justifications/excuses...

1. Post-It Notes (lots of them)

2. Books for my dissertation research that I couldn't find used

3. A new bicycle pump (because I really, really wanted to ride and couldn't wait to track down a used one)

4. A sauna suit to wear when I work out 

5. A copy of Self magazine (accompanied by a generous helping of ice cream as part of a bad day self-pity party)

6. A nice card to give to the boyfriend as an apology note (closely connected to purchase #5)

So... I still have a long ways to go, but I am feeling good about the small changes I've made and have been inspired by all those who are out there doing amazing things to make this world a better place. 

Answers to your Burning Questions

I know that everyone thinks about what it would be like without the modern convenience of garbage service. Well, maybe everyone doesn't think about this all the time; but for those of us who have this modern convenience that most of the world goes without, the thought of not having our trash (or even recycling) picked up on a bi-weekly basis might make us think about what and how we consume. My friend just moved to 20 beautiful acres in a rural part of the country and does not have garbage service. This is what she had to say. It definitely gives me some food for thought...

"It is interesting how you begin to consider things when you have no trash service. Here is what we do: Separate - paper products (burn pile), food disposal (we also have no garbage disposal, but Mooshoo, our potbelly pig, eats anything and everything), plastics (save for recycle; the corner store recycles every other Monday), what's left (and there is stuff left, sadly) my husband takes to a local business in city limits and sneaks it in with their trash). Needless to say, we rethink what we buy in the way of packaging, food, and everything else. Just interesting life experience."

The Compact

When I was doing some online research a couple of months ago, I came across this blog on something called "The Compact." Started by a group of people in San Francisco, the mission of The Compact is: 1) to go beyond recycling in trying to counteract the negative global environmental and socioeconomic impacts of U.S. consumer culture to resist global corporatism, and to support local businesses, farms, etc.; 2) to reduce clutter and waste in our homes (as in trash compact-er); 3) to simplify our lives (as in calm-pact). Basically, the group agreed to buy nothing new, except for food, drinks, necessary medications and cleaning products (but not equipment), socks and underwear, and pajamas for children. The group vowed to buy used, borrow, or do without everything else. 

I was really intrigued by the idea, and so I suggested to a friend of mine that we try it for one month. We both decided that September would work, since in August she was relocating permanently and I was traveling and in a state of flux. So, September it was. The first week was easy, especially because in hindsight I realized that I had spent the last week in August stocking up on things that I thought I needed. Is this cheating? Maybe... but I'll try not to judge myself too harshly. So, I was doing really well until, without thinking, I went online and bought my boyfriend a new book. I had been trying to get the book used from this great website called paperbackswap.com. (If you've never heard of it, check it out. Membership is free and you swap books with other members for only the cost of postage, which is under $2.50 per book). Anyway, the site has this little button next to books they don't have available that reads "buy this book new." Without thinking, I clicked on it and redirected myself to Amazon. Come to find out, I already have an account with Amazon that somehow has my credit card information saved and so I bought a new book without even really thinking about it. As soon as I clicked "Confirm purchase," I mumbled some expletive under my breath. I realized I had just unconsciously gone against The Compact. I think this was only on September 7th. 

So, I vowed to do better and was doing well until I was working and managed to highlight (again unconsciously) a book that I had borrowed from a professor. This prompted me to go back on Amazon and purchase the book for her new, since the loaned copy was brand-new when she gave it to me. I guess my weaknesses are books, which is not THAT bad... But as much as I am not going to be too hard on myself, I am also not going to rationalize. 

Other than that, and the fact that if something is needed in the house I send my boyfriend out to get it (again, is this cheating?), I've found the process to be fairly easy. If I choose to continue past September, I am looking forward to the challenge of both the holidays and the fact that I have a number of weddings/baby showers/other events coming up. 

Also, I am wondering where post-its fall. I'm hoping they fall under the "necessary items" category. Because I use them for my book annotations and have become quite addicted recently. Also, if I take up knitting (everyone might be getting a scarf for Christmas), I'm assuming I can buy yarn. I just need to find a good local crafts store and avoid the lure of Michael's.

Simplicity and Social Justice

I'm seeking connections between the concepts of voluntary simplicity and social justice. Can one be socially just without also moving towards a more counter-culture state of voluntary simplicity? Just some food for thought...

Starting the Journey

I've been thinking a lot about this Ganhdi quote I came across the other day, which reads "there is enough on earth for everybody's need, but not for everyone's greed." When are we, as both individuals and a society, going to recognize the effects of our own greed? With headlines lamenting the crashing market, rising gas prices, and crippling recession, I cannot help but wonder when we're going to wake up. I've started to make small steps - reading up on the voluntary simplicity movement and attempting to live more mindfully - but I know I have a long way to go. I'm looking forward to the journey of finding a greater sense of both inward and outward peace.